THE year is 2011 and etiquette expert Anna Musson is asking where our manners have gone.

In bygone eras, there were complex rules on everything from shaking hands to serving poultry, walking down main streets or travelling on a tramcar.

In colonial Australia, people addressed others using their titles, such as Mr and Mrs, and children were to be seen, not heard.

Today, the rigid rules of etiquette have gradually died with the passing of each generation.

And we are spending less time in face-to-face interactions because of mobile technology, e-business and social networking sites.

It’s in this climate of limited social interaction, that Ms Musson has found success.

The 38-year-old Killarney Heights resident founded her business, the Good Manners Company, in 2007 and conducts regular workshops for corporate high-flyers, football players and high school teens.

Major Australian women’s and men’s magazines, TV morning shows and Sydney radio stations have all featured Ms Musson, who can be recognised for her blonde bob, lipstick smile and penchant for pearls.

In one magazine interview, she calls Brisbane people more rude than Sydneysiders.

In another, she advises against using the expressions “yep” or “no worries” and advocates handwritten, thank-you notes.

Some of her advice on social functions is quite precise: always arrive within 10 minutes of the start time, never on time and stay for a maximum of two hours during the day or two-and-a-half-hours if it is in the evening.

She also has answers for questions some may not have even thought about, such as whether your socks should match your shoes or your trousers. (The answer is your shoes, by the way.)

Her courses and programs cover situations which can be minefields for social faux pas: formal dinners, the work environment and business attire.

Raised in Christchurch, New Zealand, Ms Musson came to Sydney at the age of 20 to seek fame and fortune.

She worked in five-star hotels dealing with high-profile clients and about five years ago began working with Sydney’s veteran etiquette expert, June Dally-Watkins.

While working with Ms Dally-Watkins she was already running etiquette courses at her local church.

“Then I said, ‘if I can do this for a living, this would be my dream job’,” she said. “I really do live and breathe this stuff.”

She has an ongoing role with the Rugby Union Players Association where she conducts half-day workshops for every newly signed football player.

She has worked with executives from major banks, sales businesses, Indigenous junior AFL players, the Wests Tigers NRL team and high school students.

There are also regular workshops at her Frenchs Forest office, including the Etiquette Boot Camp for Professionals which includes a segment on dining etiquette, served with a three-course meal.

But manners are not just a social nicety; they translate into money and success, particularly in today’s sporting industry, according to Ms Musson.

“Professional sports people are just as well known on and off the field - gone are the days where they can be larrikins and drink,” she said.

“Now they’re at business meetings, black tie functions, balls, and they must know their way around the table.

“After my workshops, they feel a lot more confident about going to functions, having a business meeting and being appropriate in situations they haven’t been in before.

“They say, ‘if I can conduct myself well, that can directly impact my income’ ... so they respond well to my workshops.”

In an interview, Ms Musson says she is not afraid to share her views on etiquette when in public, such as the time she followed a limo driver to give him back a newspaper he had thrown onto the road.

“I will often speak up if someone is littering,” she said. “The idea is that you don’t want to shame someone, perhaps they might not know.

“If I’m in the facilities and young girls continue their conversation in the cubicle I’ll say ‘shush! We don’t want to hear your conversation’.”

By the way, she doesn’t use the word “toilet”. “I don’t say the t-word. It’s the facilities.”

Australian-born Crown Princess Mary of Denmark represents everything a lady should be for Ms Musson, who has definite views on women’s behaviour in public; they should never laugh loudly, draw attention to themselves or pash their boyfriends in public.

They should never expose too much flesh or, her pet hate, their bra straps.

“When you compare what society puts up as role models, like Paris Hilton or any Hollywood starlet, it’s really a bad image for them and many don’t have any role models on how to be a lady and the certain things we should and shouldn’t do,” she says.

Women should also wear skirts to work. “Skirts are more empowering for women,” she says.

Laith Kamal, 15, recently took part in one of Ms Musson’s workshops at his school, Trinity Catholic College in Auburn.

“It was good because we’re still young and she was sort of bringing us to the adult world so we know what to do,” he said.

“Since the workshop, most people I’ve only met once or twice are now treating me like I’ve known them for a long time and that’s from having good manners.”

Another student, Nicole Severin, 16, said Ms Musson helped her to realise manners are an essential part of success.

“At first we all thought (the workshop) was okay but weren’t going to do (what Ms Musson taught), but if it’s important for our future and employment and what we do in life, we should take into consideration etiquette and appropriate behaviour and learn from it,” she said.

PET PEEVES:
1. Loud talking in the ladies’ room
2. Loud mobile phone users
3. Not covering mouth for sneeze, cough or yawn 
4. Bad table manners - don’t conduct the orchestra with your cutlery
5. Make eye contact - don’t be oblivious to those around you

TOP TIPS:
* Gentlemen should always descend the stairs before a lady, in case she should trip, he is there to catch her
* Never be on your phone in a shop or at the counter
* Sit down to eat, drink or smoke
* Say ``sorry’’ when your bag bumps into someone 
* Use please and thank you with great frequency 
* Always push your chair in when you get up from the table, it is a thoughtful gesture and helpful for those who may wish to pass
* Adults do not chew gum
* Wave a thank you on the road when a car lets you in

MIND YOUR MANNERS
What: Anna Musson’s three-day course or one-day etiquette bootcamp
When: The next course is on July 13 or the etiquette bootcamp on July 22
Where: Suite 3.04, 10 Tilley Lane, Frenchs Forest 
Cost: $350 for the course, including lunch, portrait photo, workbook and $500 for the bootcamp 
Details: Call 0412 007 173